Everything You Want to Know About Boudoir Photography
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So You're Thinking About It…
Something brought you here. Maybe a friend showed you her photos and you couldn't stop thinking about them. Maybe you're getting married. Maybe you just turned 40 and thought, you know what, why not. Maybe it's Tuesday and you're tired of waiting for permission to feel beautiful.
Whatever the reason, you've probably got questions. Lots of them. The kind you Google at midnight when nobody's looking. The kind you whisper to your best friend over wine. The kind you're definitely not asking out loud at the office.
I've been photographing women for over a decade now. Hundreds of sessions. And I can tell you with absolute certainty that every single woman who's walked through my studio door had the same nervous energy you're feeling right now. They all had questions they were afraid to ask. About their bodies. About what happens during the shoot. About whether they'd look ridiculous trying to be sexy. About grooming and periods and whether their cellulite would show.
This guide is me answering all of it. Every question. No topic is off limits. The embarrassing stuff. The practical stuff. The stuff nobody talks about but everybody worries about.
By the time you finish reading, you'll know exactly what you're walking into. And hopefully you'll feel a lot less nervous about walking through that door.
What Boudoir photography Actually Is
Boudoir is intimate photography of you, on your terms. The word comes from French, meaning a woman's private room. And that's exactly what this is: your private moment to be seen the way you want to be seen.
It's not about performing sexy for someone else. It's not about contorting yourself into somebody else's idea of what beautiful looks like. And it's definitely not about apologising for taking up space in this world.
Some women do this as a gift for a partner. Others do it entirely for themselves. Brides book sessions before their weddings. Women book sessions after divorces. After cancer recoveries. After having babies. After just deciding they're done waiting to feel worthy of being celebrated.
I photographed a woman last year who'd just finalised her divorce. She told me she'd spent fifteen years feeling invisible. She wanted to remember what it felt like to be seen. To feel powerful. To take up space unapologetically.
I photographed another woman in her sixties who said she'd spent her whole life waiting until she was thin enough, pretty enough, young enough to do something like this. She decided she was done waiting.
Here's what I need you to understand: you don't need a reason. You don't need permission. You don't need to justify this to anyone. The wanting is enough.
Boudoir vs Nude Photography
Boudoir typically involves some clothing: lingerie, a silk robe, your partner's shirt, whatever feels right. Nude photography celebrates the body in its natural form with more artistic, dramatic lighting and intentional composition. They're related but not the same thing.
Here's what actually matters though: you decide. Nude is one option, never a requirement. Many sessions include a mix. Some implied nudity created through shadows and angles. Some fully clothed moments that feel just as intimate. You're in control of what you reveal and when. That power is yours. Always.
The Questions You're Embarrassed to Ask
I'll answer all of them. No topic is off limits. These are the questions I get in DMs at 11pm, the ones people type out, delete, type again, then finally hit send with a "sorry if this is weird but..." No apology needed. Let's get into it.
What if I'm on my period?
Totally fine. Use a tampon or cup. Pads can show through sheer fabric or create visible lines, so skip those for the shoot.
If you're cramping badly or bloated or just not feeling it, we reschedule. Free. No questions asked. No guilt trip. Your comfort comes first, always.
That said, plenty of women shoot during their period without any issues at all. Your body, your call. You know yourself best.
How much should I groom down there?
However you want. Some women go full Brazilian. Some do a tidy trim. Some leave everything completely natural. All of it is welcome. There is genuinely no right answer here. Only your preference.
If you do wax, schedule it five to seven days before the shoot. Freshly waxed skin can be red, irritated, prone to bumps. Give it time to calm down and recover.
Same goes for shaving. Two to three days before is the sweet spot. Long enough for any razor burn to settle, recent enough that you're still smooth.
Do I have to get naked?
Nope. Boudoir doesn't mean stripping down. Some clients wear cosy jumpers the whole time. Some go implied topless with strategic shadows and angles. Some do fully nude shots. You're in charge of what you wear and what you reveal. Always. Every single moment.
If keeping your knickers on makes you feel safe, that's exactly what we do. If you want to try some nude shots but feel nervous, we can work up to it gradually. Or not at all. There's no pressure. Ever. The best sessions happen when you feel comfortable, so your comfort is my priority.
I've had clients who started fully clothed and by the end of the session felt confident enough to try something more revealing. I've had clients who planned to do nude shots but changed their mind on the day. Both are completely fine. You can change your mind at any point.
I'm classy by day but I've got a spicy side. Can we go there?
Hell yes. Bring the latex. Bring the rope. Bring the chains. Bring the stilettos. We'll talk through boundaries beforehand and keep it tasteful. Think elegant edge, not shock factor. Sensual, not gratuitous.
A lot of women have a side of themselves they rarely get to express. Maybe it's the version of you that only comes out behind closed doors. Maybe it's a fantasy you've never told anyone about. This can be the space where that part of you gets to come out and play.
Your session can be soft and romantic, dark and commanding, playful and fun, intensely sensual, or all of the above. It can reflect every dimension of who you are.
Can you make me look hotter?
You're already stunning. What I do is use good lighting, careful posing, and gentle retouching to help you see what's already there. No plastic skin fakery. No dramatic alterations. Nothing overdone. Just elevated.
The magic isn't in Photoshop. It's in the angles, the light, and guiding you into positions that flatter your specific body. Your body. Not some generic template.
Most women are genuinely shocked by how beautiful they look in their photos. Not because I changed them. Because I helped them see themselves clearly, maybe for the first time.
Is the bedding clean?
Squeaky clean. Everything gets washed or sanitised after every single shoot. Sheets, pillowcases, robes, the faux fur throws, all of it. You're rolling around on fresh linens. Always. No sketchy secondhand vibes here.
Will my photos end up online?
Only if you explicitly sign a release saying you're okay with it. About 30% of my clients are comfortable sharing their images for portfolio or marketing. The other 70% keep them completely private. Stored securely. Seen by no one but them.
Your images are yours. Full stop. You control who sees them, when, and how. No photographer should ever post your photos without explicit written consent. If one does, run.
Always ask about privacy policies before booking anywhere. How are photos stored? How are they delivered? What happens if you want them deleted later? A reputable photographer will have clear answers.
I have no idea how to pose.
That's my job, not yours. I demonstrate every single move. Prepare to laugh because I look absolutely ridiculous doing it. I'll adjust the tiniest angles. Move your chin a centimetre. Shift your weight. Tilt your shoulder. I show you the back of the camera throughout so you know you look amazing before we move on.
You don't need modelling experience. You don't need to know your angles. You don't need to have practiced in the mirror. You just need to show up and trust the process. I guide you through flowing movements that feel natural rather than stiff. Hands up your waist. Glance over your shoulder. Deep breath.
The posing is my responsibility. Your only job is to relax and be present.
Can my partner come?
Absolutely. Couples boudoir is actually one of my most popular sessions. We shoot real connection, not cheesy magazine poses. The way you look at each other. The comfort of familiar touch. The chemistry that exists between you.
Some couples use it to reconnect. Some do it to celebrate an anniversary or milestone. Some just think it sounds fun. All valid reasons.
About Your Body
Yes, boudoir is for you. Whatever your size, shape, age, or the thing you're self conscious about. I've photographed size 6 and size 26. Women in their twenties and women in their sixties. Women with stretch marks and scars and cellulite and rolls. Every single body has been beautiful.
I know you're probably thinking "but my body is different." Nearly every woman who contacts me has this same worry. It usually comes out something like: "I'm nervous about my body. Is this even for someone like me?"
The answer is emphatically, unconditionally yes.
The goal of boudoir isn't to change you. It's to show you what's already there. Good lighting and thoughtful posing highlight what you love about yourself. But more than that, they help you see yourself with kindness. Maybe for the first time.
Body positivity in this context isn't about pretending insecurities don't exist. It's about making space for them and choosing to move forward anyway. It's about looking at your stretch marks and scars and curves and deciding they're part of your story, not flaws to hide.
You don't have to wait until you lose weight. You don't have to wait until your skin clears up. You don't have to fix whatever you think is wrong with you. You can show up exactly as you are. Today. Right now. And discover that you were always worthy of being seen.
Finding the Right Photographer
Professionalism is the single most important thing to look for. More important than their portfolio. More important than their gender. More important than their price. You need someone who makes you feel safe, respected, and celebrated throughout the entire experience.
This is the most important decision you'll make. More important than what lingerie to buy or how to prep your skin. You're going to be vulnerable. In various states of undress. Trying poses that feel unfamiliar. Trusting someone to capture you at your most intimate.
Professionalism Matters More Than Gender
A professional photographer will make you feel safe regardless of their gender. An unprofessional one won't, regardless of theirs.
My name is Matthew. I'm a man. And I know some women specifically seek out female photographers for boudoir. That's completely valid. If that's what you need to feel safe, go find her. No judgement.
But here's what I've learned after a decade of doing this: the gender of your photographer matters far less than their professionalism, their ability to make you comfortable, and their skill behind the camera.
I've had women book with me after having nightmare experiences with female photographers. Photographers who were judgmental. Who pushed them into poses they weren't comfortable with. Who made them feel worse about themselves, not better.
I'm not saying those photographers were bad people. Photographers are humans too. We have off days. We deal with the same life dramas as everyone else. But we shouldn't bring that energy into our clients' sessions. Your boudoir experience should be about you, not about whatever's going on in your photographer's life.
I've photographed hundreds of women. Teachers, nurses, lawyers, stay at home mums, executives, women in their twenties and women in their sixties. Every single one was nervous when she walked in. And every single one has told me she forgot I was even a man within the first twenty minutes.
Why? Because I'm not looking at you that way. I'm looking at light and shadow. I'm thinking about angles and composition. How to make your waist look longer. How to catch the light in your eyes. How to position your hands so they look elegant rather than awkward. I'm working.
What to Look For
Look for variety in their portfolio, transparency in their process, and clear answers about boundaries. Don't just look at how pretty the photos are. Look at the people in them. Do they look comfortable? Confident? Like themselves? Or do they all look the same, posed identically, lit with the same generic lighting, wearing the same expressions?
You want to see variety. Different body types. Different ages. Different styles. You want to sense that each woman's unique beauty was honoured rather than forced into some template.
Ask about the process. How do they help nervous clients relax? How do they handle boundaries? What happens if you're uncomfortable during the shoot? A good photographer will answer these questions without hesitation. They'll have systems in place because they've thought about this stuff.
Talk about pricing upfront. Make sure there are no hidden costs. Understand exactly what's included and what isn't.
Read the Reviews (Especially the Bad Ones)
The one star reviews tell you what happens when things go wrong. This is a quick vibe check most people skip. Not just the glowing five star testimonials. What are people actually complaining about? Is it the photographer's attitude? Feeling rushed or pressured? Unexpected costs? How the photographer handled a complaint?
Every business gets the occasional bad review. That's life. But patterns tell you something. And how a photographer responds to criticism tells you even more about who they are.
The Real Test
Ask yourself: do they make you feel like you're enough exactly as you are? Or do they make you feel like you need to lose weight first, tone up first, fix something about yourself before you're ready?
Trust your gut. If something feels off during the initial conversation, keep looking. This experience should feel like coming home to yourself, not performing for someone else's approval.
You're always in control. You decide what you wear. You decide what you reveal. You can change your mind at any moment. If something feels uncomfortable, you say so and we stop. Full stop. No questions, no pressure, no weird energy. Any photographer worth booking understands this.
Still unsure about me specifically? That's okay. Look at my portfolio. Read the reviews from other women. And if you want to chat before booking, I'm happy to jump on a call so you can get a feel for whether this is right for you.
What to Bring
Bring more than you think you need. Two to three lingerie sets, heels, stockings, and something personal. We'll sort through it together and pick what works best.
Lingerie
Two to three sets you actually love wearing
Corsets, bras, briefs, thongs, garter belts
Colours that pop: black, white, red, deep jewel tones (emerald, sapphire, burgundy)
Bodysuits are camera gold
High waist knickers flatter almost everyone
Lace catches light beautifully
But don't limit yourself to traditional lingerie. Maybe what makes you feel powerful is a leather jacket with nothing underneath. Your partner's business shirt. Your favourite worn in band tee. An old silk robe that feels like home. Bring whatever makes you feel like you.
Shoes and Accessories
Heels (a few pairs, the higher the better for leg length)
Don't worry if you can't walk in them. You won't be walking, just posing
Stockings (everyone forgets these, put them on your list now)
Simple jewellery, hat, scarf, whatever feels right
If It's a Gift
Something of theirs: work shirt, jersey, tie
Tools of their trade if they've got an interesting job
These personal touches transform generic pretty photos into your specific story
Practical Stuff
Snacks and water (you'll be here a few hours, low blood sugar makes everything harder)
Moisturiser to apply before we start
Cut all the tags off your lingerie before you arrive (trust me on this one)
The Week Before
Focus on skincare, hair, and your mindset. Preparation isn't about perfection. It's about showing up feeling good so you can actually enjoy the experience.
Skin
Stick to products your skin already knows (now is not the time to experiment)
Use gentle cleanser, nothing heavily fragranced or drying
Ditch makeup wipes for cleansing oil
Exfoliate once or twice that week (but don't overdo it)
Moisturise like it's your job: face, body, everywhere
Pay extra attention to elbows, knees, and dry patches
Drink lots of water (your skin genuinely notices)
Skip the spray tan (looks bronzed in person, often reads green or orange on camera)
Hair
Wash it the night before, not morning of (freshly washed hair doesn't hold style as well)
If colouring, do it at least a week before (never the night before)
Hair Removal
Wax five to seven days before (gives redness time to settle)
Shave two to three days before (long enough for razor burn to calm, recent enough to be smooth)
Your Mind
Mental prep matters more than physical prep. In the days leading up to your session, be gentle with yourself. Notice when your inner critic gets loud. Consciously choose to quiet that voice.
Remind yourself why you booked this. Whatever your reason is, it's valid. You don't owe anyone an explanation.
If you find yourself spiralling into anxiety about how you'll look, remember: every single woman who's ever done a boudoir session felt the exact same way beforehand. And nearly every single one left feeling more beautiful and confident than she expected.
Day Of
Wear loose clothes (tight waistbands and bra straps leave red marks that take ages to fade)
Get decent sleep the night before (it shows in your face, energy, and confidence)
Do something calming before you arrive: slow morning, favourite music, deep breaths in the car
What Actually Happens
You'll arrive, do hair and makeup, shoot for about an hour, then see your photos the same day. Plan for about three hours total. Here's the full play by play.
When you arrive, your playlist is already playing. I build it around your favourite artists beforehand. Music matters. It sets the tone, helps you relax, makes the whole thing feel less clinical and more like an experience.
We start by sorting through your outfits together. You'll have brought more than we need (good) so we pick the top two or three looks that work best. I've got extra accessories in the studio if you forgot something or want to try something you didn't think to bring.
Then you settle in for hair and makeup with my beauty pro. She's incredible. She'll chat through what you want, or handle it completely if you're not sure. We check in during the process to make sure it's exactly right. Not too heavy, not too minimal. If you want changes, no problem. We tweak until you're loving what you see.
The shoot itself starts with a simple outfit and some warm up poses. Nobody looks great in their first few frames. That's normal. I guide every single move. Think flowing actions that feel natural rather than stiff "put your left hand here" instructions.
Hands up your waist. Glance over your shoulder. Deep breath in, let it out slowly. Arch your back slightly. Soften your face. We refine as we go. I show you the back of the camera throughout so you can see what's working.
It's relaxed. It's actually fun. Most women are laughing by the halfway point. And here's the thing they tell me over and over: somewhere in the middle of it, something shifts. You stop feeling awkward. You stop thinking about your stomach or your thighs or whatever thing you're usually self conscious about. You start to see yourself differently.
You catch your reflection in the camera screen and think, "Oh. There I am."
That's the moment boudoir is really about. Not the final photos, though those will be stunning. It's this: the instant you remember you've always been enough. That your body, exactly as it is right now, deserves to be celebrated.
After each outfit, we do a quick touch up and switch to the next look. The whole shoot portion takes about an hour. Long enough to create something beautiful. Short enough that you don't get exhausted.
Plan for about three hours total. One hour for hair and makeup. One hour for the actual shoot. Half an hour for snacks and your same day image reveal.
Seeing Your Photos
You see them the same day. No waiting days or weeks wondering how they turned out. While you're changing back into regular clothes, I'm already working on your images. We do the reveal that afternoon, right there in the studio.
You'll sit back with a glass of something nice and watch a slideshow of your best shots on a big 55 inch screen. This is often the most emotional part of the whole experience. I've watched women tear up, laugh in disbelief, cover their mouths in shock, sit in stunned silence.
It hits different when you actually see yourself that way. When you realise the woman in those photos is you. Has always been you. Just now you can finally see it.
Then we go through the images together and pick your favourites. You only buy what you love. There's no minimum purchase. No high pressure sales tactics. I'm not going to try to talk you into prints you don't want.
Most clients end up spending around $1,785 but that reflects their choices, not any requirement on my end. Some spend less. Some spend more. It's entirely about what feels right for you and what you want to take away from this experience.
Within a week you'll get access to your private online gallery with fully edited images. The retouching is gentle and honest. I'll smooth temporary stuff like a stray hair or a blemish that showed up that week or bra strap indentations. But I won't turn you into someone else. No plastic looking skin. No dramatically altered proportions. The goal is for you to look at your photos and see yourself at your most beautiful. Not a heavily filtered stranger.
Prints and albums take about four to eight weeks depending on what you order.
Worth the wait. Every single time.
When to Book
Book six to eight weeks before you need the photos. If you need them by a specific date (wedding, anniversary, milestone birthday), that gives us time for planning, the session, editing, and production of any prints or albums.
No deadline? You've got flexibility. But here's my advice: don't wait for the perfect moment. There isn't one.
The women who wait until they lose weight, until their skin clears up, until life settles down... they often never book at all. The women who just decide to do it? They tell me it's one of the best decisions they've ever made.
Why You're Really Here
Because something inside you is saying: I want this. I deserve this. I'm ready. You didn't read this whole thing just for the logistics.
Maybe you're scared. That's okay. Most women are. Fear doesn't mean you're not ready. It means you're about to do something that matters.
I've watched this transformation hundreds of times now. A woman walks in nervous, uncertain, maybe questioning whether she should have booked at all. And she leaves standing taller. Eyes brighter. With this quiet smile that says she just remembered something important about herself.
That's what this is really about. You showed up. You chose yourself.
That alone is enough.
Still got questions?
Ask me anything. Seriously. No matter how weird you think it sounds.
This is your space. You're safe here.
Ready? Let's do this.
